How to survive a divorce

Family lawyer
Candidate of Legal Sciences
Welcome to the website! In the article “How to survive a divorce” I will talk about how to survive a divorce: advice from a psychologist, help from a psychologist, a lawyer during a divorce, advice from a psychologist on divorce, how to help a child survive a divorce from their parents: recommendations from a psychologist. Read the article to the end and contact our law firm for legal assistance in family matters.

Help from a psychologist and lawyer during divorce

  • What methods of assistance are used by psychologists and psychotherapists so that a person can survive a divorce as painlessly as possible?

First of all, it is necessary to provide support to a person facing the problem of divorce. My help, like any other therapy, begins with clarifying the situation. Let the person tell you again what happened to him, let him relive it again, show emotions. This point is important because reliving the situation makes it less stressful.

An important stage in working with a crisis situation, such as divorce, is the reaction of emotions.

Reacting emotions is the release and intensification of their manifestation. Emotions are energy, physical and mental. A portion of such energy accumulated in a person needs to be released. Give relief, free yourself from it.

If we need to cry, then we cry. If you want to swear, then we swear. The experience should be released. It is important that there is a person nearby who is ready to listen and clarify the situation; if there is no such person, it is better to turn to a psychotherapist or psychologist.

The psychotherapist will listen professionally and ask questions that would not occur to a person under stress. In other words, the psychologist will help you shift your attention, but first of all, you will help you react to your emotions professionally. If this is not done, problems with voltage control may begin.

  • Have there been such cases in your practice?

In my practice, there are also difficult cases when, in addition to the standard procedures of clarification and response, medical treatment is required. Anxiety and insomnia develop more often, mood deteriorates and irritability occurs. In such cases, support for the body is necessary: B vitamins, nootropics, sedatives, but the decision to take the medicine must be made by a doctor.

As a rule, the help of a psychologist comes down to providing support to a person in difficult times, allowing him to speak out and get his bearings. The latter means making life-affirming plans for the near future, but only after the main experiences fade into the background.

When experiences are strong and do not find a way out, a state of tension arises. It is as if an electric current were passing through the body. Only the tension is constant. The level of such emotional tension can jump and then a symptom of the disease arises. It can also take another form: an eating problem or another addiction. 

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How to survive a divorce: advice from a psychologist

How to cope with the worries and negative emotions associated with divorce and not get sick; Practicing psychotherapist and psychologist Arthur Kunibalov will tell you how to explain to a child and help him survive the separation of mom and dad.

  • Arthur, tell us about your professional experience and what the work of a psychologist with people who find themselves in difficult life situations involves.

I am a practicing psychotherapist and psychologist. I work in cognitive and family psychotherapy.

People regularly contact me who are on the verge of divorce or who are faced with the need to go through one. The essence of my help is that a person can survive a difficult period and not get sick.

Strong experiences can be dangerous for physical and mental well-being. Depression, sleep disturbances, weight problems may develop, and very often anemia occurs due to fasting or lack of appetite. In simple words, a person experiences an experience, but does not find a way out or resolution for it. The disease develops and is formed by neurosis.

Advice from a psychologist on divorce

  • What advice can you give to people who for some reason do not have the opportunity to visit a psychologist or psychotherapist? Are there any universal methods that will help you overcome the emotional difficulties associated with divorce?

After a divorce, many people face new difficulties: how to survive a divorce from their husband or wife, what to live on, how to inform their relatives.

All these issues must be worked out individually based on available resources. But, first of all, it is necessary to create conditions in which the brain will work fully. If it’s hard, you’re tormented by thoughts of divorce, you still continue to love your husband or wife, but you still need to go through a divorce, then here are simple recommendations:

  1. Make plans and imagine how your life will change.
  2. For example, in order for a woman to survive a divorce from a man, she needs to rethink the role of her ex-man in her life. There can be several relationships with the same person. As a person, as a person, as a former man. While she was married, the most important thing was to treat her like a man. After the divorce, a different attitude became significant. The faster order is established in this plane (the attitude corresponds to the actual role), the faster a person will come to his senses and cope with the feelings of divorce
  3. If emotions are overwhelming, then you cannot suppress them; the more you show them, the faster everything will get better. If you are angry, then do not hesitate to get angry, swear, scream, tear up the newspaper. I want tears, cry, cry.
  4. After the emotions are released, think about how you will continue to live, where, with whom.
  5. Think about the person you are divorcing (spouse or wife) and answer the question: “who is he?”, “What do you think about him?”, “How do you feel about him?” things like that. These questions will help you understand yourself and find your place in relationships. The fact is that our personality is structured like a pyramid, based on relationships with loved ones.
  6. Divorce is a re-evaluation of relationships, so it is necessary to clarify them.
  7. Take action, make your plans come true.
  8. If you need to adjust your plans.
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How to help a child survive their parents’ divorce: recommendations from a psychologist

  • Many divorcing couples are worried not only about their own feelings, but also about how to explain to their child that their parents are getting divorced, what advice can you give them?

If there are children, then they have the right to know that their parents are getting divorced. Knowing the problem reduces stress, unlike ignorance. Let the child hear what is happening. If the truth hurts, it’s better than not knowing now, but discovering the truth later will hurt much more.

It is important to talk to children frankly and confidentially, to tell them that there are times in life when adults separate, but, despite the fact that they will not live together, they will continue to be his parents and will in no case stop loving him.

  • What actions can parents take to help their child cope with mom and dad’s divorce?

In order to help a child survive a divorce, you must first of all have a desire to help him. Desire is the most powerful tool in the hands of a psychologist and any person, but desire alone is not enough; emotional contact must also be ensured. Children need to be understood and felt. The technique of establishing contact itself is therapeutic, as it allows you to clarify all aspects of a person’s life.

It is important to remember that the helping person should not express his opinion and judgment, his role is to listen and clarify. Ask your child about what is happening in his life, what has changed around him, what does he think about this? How does he feel towards his parents? What does he think specifically about mom and dad? How does he feel about mom and dad? Who would be better for him to live with? How to communicate with each parent?

All the same questions can be addressed to anyone going through a divorce. It is important that when answering them, a person understands how he feels about what is happening and people. It is important to understand what you are experiencing and find a way out for these feelings.

It happens that a husband and wife, in a crisis situation that arises during a divorce, worry and become fixated on their feelings, want to help the child, but do nothing for it.

To help, you need to talk a lot and clarify, then everything will fall into place, the child will understand that he is understood and not abandoned, this is the most important thing. Well, under no circumstances should you force your emotions towards the other parent on your children, and you shouldn’t forbid them to communicate with their father (mother).

Here is the basic algorithm for dealing with a crisis after or during a divorce. The most important thing is to know that if you cannot cope with a difficult situation yourself, then it is better to contact a specialist.

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